Sense in sensitivity
I was really not going to write about this. Despite the fact that it has been on my mind for weeks, I just felt there was no point. How wrong was I. Everyday, I see it, hear it, it's literally always in my face. Without meaning to, many of us add to the population of depressed individuals. The little comments we make go a long way in doing just that. Without knowing, a lot of things we say are extremely insensitive. We put them under the umbrella of 'commenting' but they are not just comments. we say a lot of things like:
"You look fat."
First of all, I personally feel Nigerians do not understand the meaning of fat. It's a derogatory word. It's not wrong to tell your friends when they need to work on their weights but it is wrong to call someone who added a little weight to their former slim figure, fat. It's even wrong to call a plus sized person fat.
"Your face urghhh."
Many of us are blessed with baby-smooth skin, others are not. So what if she/he has a bad case of acne or pimples? He or she knows. He or she can see mirrors. Even if he or she can not, if you don't have a solution to offer up, keep your comments.
"You're dark!"
OK, this one is just somehow because we are Africans. The dark skin colour is associated with us. A dark person's friend sees him/her and just comments on how dark he/she is (in a derogatory manner). Isn't that just crazy? It's not like it's a bad thing but the way it's said makes it seem that way.
My point is, watch the words you use when commenting on people's appearances. If the rate at which we comment on people's appearances in derogatory terms, is the same rate at which we compliment them, the world will be a better place. This is not to say, you should not be honest, it is to say, say to others what you want to be said to you.
We always say, grow a thick skin, comments should not affect you but, if we are really being honest, not many of us have 'thick skin'. The comments hurt, they reduce our self esteem. I'm only advocating that instead of pointing out stuff about people's appearances that they can see in mirrors, offer up solutions. Or, better still, don't.
JOLAHSTHOUGHTS
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